Finding Nemo is my favourite Pixar movie. Funny fish, vegetarian Aussie sharks, stoner turtles and beautiful animation. As a film, it is everything that’s great about the Pixar studio. However, Finding Nemo is also full of shit.

This is because Nemo the clownfish, Marlin’s lost son and the titular character, is not what you think he is. He is not Marlin’s son. In fact, he is nobody’s son. If you look closely, Nemo doesn’t even exist. He never existed. Therefore, Nemo can’t be found.

I’ve seen this theory being peddled online before, and I agree with it. So here is my breakdown of the theory that Nemo doesn’t exist.

In the opening scene of Finding Nemo, Marlin’s wife and unborn fish eggs are eaten by a barracuda. (It wouldn’t be a Disney film without murder.) However, one fish egg survives. Marlin names it Nemo and promises to always protect it. Heartwarming.

But no, I don’t think any fish egg survived. I think the one surviving egg, Nemo, is a figment of Marlin’s imagination. I believe this because I think the film is an allegory for death and the grieving process. And Marlin’s journey to find his son actually represents the five stages of grief.

The five stages of grief are: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance.

In simple English, Marlin’s search to “find Nemo” actually represents his journey to get over the murder of his family.

The theory of the five stages of grieving is usually presented as a chronological process. A person goes into denial, then feels angry, then bargains with questions like “what could I have done to prevent this?” before becoming depressed, and then finally accepting the situation and moving on.

I think Pixar distorts the chronology a little in Finding Nemo, but every element of the theory of the five stages of grief is present in the film.

The first clue to Nemo being a metaphorical character is in his name. “Nemo” in Latin means “nobody.” Having Nemo be a physical character also shows Marlin’s Denial stage of the grieving process. He refuses to believe his family have all died, so he creates Nemo, an imaginary son.

Stage two of Marlin’s grief – Anger – manifests itself in many ways. Marlin often snaps at Nemo and generally has no patience for the people trying to help him, lashing out irrationally. Mr. Ray the singing stingray gets a telling off for bringing his class to the “drop off” on Nemo’s first day of school, while Dory constantly bears the brunt of Marlin’s short temper when Nemo goes missing.

Marlin blames himself for the death of his wife and eggs. He tells himself it will never happen again and obsesses over Nemo’s safety. This shows stage three of his grieving – his Bargaining stage.

In blaming himself for not being more careful, and for not protecting his wife and their unborn eggs, Marlin develops a feeling of self-loathing. Nemo even says “I hate you.” But this is Marlin’s subconscious speaking to him.

Marlin’s self-hatred also manifests itself though an extreme fear of the ocean and a lack of trust for anything. He is wondering what he could have done differently to prevent the death of his family. This causes him to no longer take unnecessary risks regarding Nemo’s safety, no matter how ridiculous his over-protective behavior is. And so, Marlin isolates himself and Nemo from the world. Everything beyond their home becomes a threat.

Stage four – Depression – is constant throughout the film, and understandably so. Marlin’s family were murdered. Perhaps the most obvious example of Marlin’s depression is when he gives up the search for Nemo.

When Marlin sees Nemo lying dead in the dentists office after the dentist’s niece Darla has shaken Nemo’s plastic bag too hard, Marlin gives up. Nigel the pelican brings Marlin and Dory back to Sydney harbour and says goodbye. Marlin drops his head and swims away melancholically into the dark blue.

Marlin has no idea that Nemo was actually playing dead in order to escape by being flushed down the toilet, but by this moment everything has come to a head for Marlin, and he gives into his hopeless sadness.

But Nemo, “nobody,” isn’t dead of course. He escapes the dentist’s office and Marlin reunites with his son. They go home with Dory and live happily ever after. This can be seen as Marlin’s Acceptance stage of the grieving process. He has learned to move on.

Despite all the struggles Marlin had to endure to get there, he finally manages to get through it all. And it is thanks to the help of community that he achieves this. Pixar is telling us to reach out to people.

Marlin couldn’t have done it without Bruce the shark encouraging him to open up, Crush the turtle for teaching him how to let go, and of course the amazing Dory for never giving up on her friend.

The moral of the story, and the film’s most quoted line, is “Just keep swimming.”